This very moment of pain can teach us

Generally speaking, we regard discomfort in any form as bad news. For certain people though, people who have a hunger to know what is true- feelings like disappointment, embarrassment, irritaion, resentment, anger, jealousy, and fear instead of being bad news are actually very clear moments that teach us where it is that we are holding back. They are like messengers that show us, with terrifying clarity, exactly where we are stuck.

Those events and people in our lives who trigger our unresolved issues could be regarded as good news. We do not have to look for anything. We do not need to create situations in which we reach our limits, they occur all by themselves. Each day, I feel, we are given opportunities to open up or shut down.

The most precious opportunity presents itself when we come to a place where we think we can not handle whatever is happening. When we feel like things have gone to far, it is too much, or we feel bad about ourselves. When we feel there is no way we can manipulate the situation to make ourselves come out looking good. No matter how hard we try nothing seems to work. Basically life has us nailed to a wall.

Most of us do not look at these situatios as teachings. We automatically hate them, we run away from them , we use all kinds of things to escape. I feel like all addictions stem from moments when we are pushed to the edge and we can not stand it.

I have had moments over the last two months where I feel I can sink or swim. I have had moments where I have found myself being pushed to the edge of feeling hopeless, and just wanting something to allow me to escape. I have tried lots of things perscription pills, and at times alcohol. Sometimes I have combined the two. Sure fixes,or so I thought for the moment. I felt like I was being pushed to the edge and that is why I took a pill, or had a couple fo drinks. Not realizing taking that pill and drinking what was actually pushing me to the edge. In drinking, and taking that pill, I discovered a very dark place. In finding that dark place I became depressed. While I have worked through some of my depression it is still a part of my life. The difference now is that I look at these moments to teach me.

While I still stuggle to stay away from those quick fixes, more times than not I find myself embracing those moments of discomfort. I have learned to take it all in. I have let the pain of life touch my heart and have turned it into compassion.

Peace and love to all who enter here….