Still feeling the pain of my papi’s death, I find myself going through the motions of the day. I am still working on achieving tranquility and transcending through the pain. The sense of loss hurts so much, though I am learning to live with it.
I do not like being hurt. I do not like experiencing pain. I believe however that I become less of a human being if I learn the art of detachment. The price I pay for that sort of protection is too high. When I protect myself against the danger of loss, by death, by teaching myself not to care, not to let anyone get too close to me. I feel I lose a part of my soul. When I try to avoid pain, I let myself become less human, less alive. To be alive is to feel pain, and to hide from pain is to make yourself feel less alive.
I have found myself being less alive and depressed when I find myself avoiding the pain I have over the death of my papi. Yet when I face it, yet do not force it, I find myself being more aware, and more alive even if the pain at the time is more than I can handle.
Maybe my way is not the best way. What I have found is experiencing pain in its raw form has helped the healing process.
Peace and love to all who enter here
